Kenneth Joel

It’s been a while seriously, before we even know it, time has zoomed past us, leaving traces only in our memories, of the good, the bad, and of course the ugly.

I’ve gotta admit though that things have change. I have changed, more jaded than ever before, soon to reach a cross-roads of my life after graduating. It’s been good i guess, the friends, the women, the wine (or beer cos i really hate wine).

Friends, i’ve gained friends along my journey. Of which, those that actually stuck are archetypal of my old time friend Mr Lionel Wong, of which i feel that we’ve gotten closer and closer over the years. Been through more than what most would call simple male bonding over alcohol. Increasingly the ice-faced, emo looking, good looking son of a bitch would actually start opening up to me about stuff, something i appreciate.

Well then again i lost someone. Someone whom i regret losing because of my own failings. If you’re reading this chow… i’m really sorry. Really really sorry.

Moving on before i fly into a flurry of emo shit. Yes. the women. I lost one since i last blogged, in fact i wouldnt even consider us friends anymore, perhaps due to my own failing once again. Well, basically it was never really the ‘love’ that kept us close for the longest time. But tolerance, forgiveness and understanding as well as always being there for each other. Let’s just say i forgot how to do all those i listed.

There were new entrants as well, a particular someone who came, swept me off my feet and went back to places of paradise i could never ever afford. It pained me deeply that i wasn’t good enough (financially at least) which became a reason when we stripped bare the entire saga of accidental meeting, turn apprehension, turn madly in love and finally lost.

On the other hand, speaking of new entrants, it has become quite apparent to me that i am no longer the “take it all” kenneth, i’m having a hard time wondering about this new someone… would be a pretty good catch in other’s eyes. But not in mine. To be honest, for those who know me, increasingly, wealth and beauty has started to plant its willful indulgence in me. In fact to a large extent it’s prolly brought about by the one i spoke about in the previous para.

And the Wine…. lol… i’d love to have an infinite glasses of those. Chilled and savored with the heartiest of moods. But now… it no longer appeals to me, the drunken nights, the loose women.

In a conversation i had with a ‘close friend’ , i’ve seriously neglected and though i seriously am irritated by her sometimes, I realised that I pretty much appreciate the shit heck outta her.*if you read this u’d know who u r.

Shit i derailed. what i meant to say was that I really don’t see alcohol as a form of pleasure anymore, more as an ideological form of relaxation that has been constructed by the media to sell more of this liquidated form of vice. As someone once said, I’d rather consume my calories in solid form.

And btw…. just something i had to say… CHARMAINE URE CURRY ROX!!!

A friend commented just yesterday that she couldnt believe that this blog was mine.
“Kenneth your writing is soo different, its so lousy now,” of which i had absolutely no response to except that sinking feeling of approval.

Looking back at the previous blog i had, i guess i had to admit that I’m losing it. On second thought however, whilst furiously rushing through stacks of notes for my second exam that ended 2 hrs ago. It hit me, like one of those revelations that Eliade had, I was emo then, now, i’m perhaps just reduced to being a pathetic excuse of a human being.

Perhaps, being in love, inspired, lifted, illuminated the words which i had chosen, used even abused. Well on closer examination, it came to no surprise that the better written ones were when i was upset, hurt, depressed. Emotions that often came with pinings, intense contemplation and an excruciating stab of lonliness.

Perhaps, when one is less emotional, less affected, and indifferent to his surroundings. He inevitably becomes detached, even from the very flow of words that used to stream from his fingers so effortlessly, gushing ferociously onto the screen as the monotony of the taps of the keyboard recited an almost depressive tone of routineness, Leading the writer to be less human, less relatable, less and less of any semblance of a warm-blooded creature.

By this thread, maybe, those sinking feeling of pain, hurt and derpression are then my true source of eloquence, at least online. Ridiculous, i say, yet undeniably almost true.

I had nothing to say, nothing to feel for almost a year before i started this blog, of which the other one had been left to lead its natural cause of abandonement. Perhaps, the times i felt that i had nothing to say, were times which i was apathetic, almost dead.

Well, i’m much less of an “emo” now, or at least i claim to be, but it struck me really hard as i’m writing this that, i think i’ve lost more than eloquence, sense, flow, and flair. I lost someone, to another, painful… yet true.

Losing someone is easiest when you’re moving to another. Perhaps even seamless, just like moving out from one home to other, a place of solace to another, throwing away a crutch for another. Its so easy. But the house that left, is usually empty, soul less now, the place of solace is now just cob webs and dust, the crutch, now just another branch, another rotting piece of remnance of the bigger tree it had been ripped from.

Well perhaps this revertibrations of ghosts that haunts me still, would someday go away. Leaving me still, with the rhythms of words, which i hope not to rid, i hope not to go.

After a long awaited post promised by me. I finally got down to doing it.
Been interning for some time almost 3 months, how time slips us so easily sometimes. Anyhow, i expected nothing, nothing in fact. To my surprise, i met the most uncanny of guys, a friend now as i might somehow pen down now.

Interestingly, both of us are really from different worlds. Literally, one hand of the spectrum u have a crazy bastard, someone lacking in even the basics of morality, partys, drinks, smokes, slimes etc (me).

On the other hand you have this friend i’ve made. Nice guy, funny, loyal to his girlfriend. Easy going, most importantly, genuine, which i think is the only common thing we share, except that i’m more blunt, tactless and loud than genuine.

Either way, he helped when i needed it, even though he had no reason to. To be honest he helped me a lot, especially with his superior knowledge in journalistic writing as opposed to me and with all the contacts and all, hmm in a way. Without the dude, i’d probably not do as well in my assignments to be really honest.

and wells for the drinks at brewerkz as well. I give a toast to this guy, which is why i made a video! haha not much of a thank you sorta thing but more of a just for laughs kinda thing.

HAHA crazy fella you are man.

Thanks man…

that i can’t forget? that i seriously can’t fucking forget?

wad a way to be called… wad a way… a way i’ll never forget. a way i’ll always cherish…

Just witnessed a break up, last week or break off if you would. In an instance it all came to me, the inevitablilty of karma, the adamant pursuit of the cosmic consequences of one’s action.

Let me just illustrate my point, by listing a few examples, by having a few fictitious characters (maybe not too fictitious but thats non-consequential). Mr Ethan, Miss Brook. Well some of you might link them to actual references to real, but sad to its just a figment of your imagination.

Scenario one

Ethan and Brook have been together for around lets see hmmm (i like 2 1/2 yrs), okay 2 1/2 years. Having been in a relationship for a sustained period of time, one would make a quick association that the couple probably has some issues, unresolved for that matter. Like any couple problems are almost mandatory, the lovey dovey-ness comes and goes, smiles, giggles were but part of the process as were the tears and arguments.

Gina finally leaves Kira for someone else, because of their problems. Poor Ethan u might be thinking… …

BUT

What is this an effect of Karma? Probably. Lets retrace incidents that happened over the relationship.

8 months into it? –> Ethan gets so drunk one night, picks up a girl at a club flirts exchanges number, perhaps even more than that, wakes up the next day only to realise the girl he’d met was Gina’s friend. Well Ethan’s meant to be a jackass.

2 weeks later –> Brook hooks up with her ex for a lil rendevous, but Kira eventually finds out…  Karma? You decide.

Its all down hill from then like u would imagine.

10 months into the relationship  –>  Ethan hooks up with someone he use to have a huge crush on…

6 months later –> Brook hooks up with someone she used to have something with.  Karma?

2 yrs –> Ethan hooks up with someone again

2 1/2 –> Brook hooks up with someone and finally leaves him.  Karma again?

Well Looks like the initiator of it all, Kira got it worst off in the end, left with nothing literally. But how is all of thids karma? it might just be a case of two cheating mofos lumped together in the most unfortunate relationship.

BUT what if i told you that both kira and gina had no idea about each other’s partners/flings/hook -ups. Well as hard as this is to imagine its true… in fact, VERY true, i’ve seen it.

I abstain from too much elaboration to protect the identities of the individuals but whilst elaboration might substatiate my theories of karma, i choose not to, afterall i aint writing for a journal.

Basically i theorize, it comes in full circle. Everything we do, some people say its just how the relationship broke down because of mutual unhappiness, but karma perhaps?

After all, there was an initiater and an effect.

Its always CAUSE and EFFECT. The effect could never be a cause to another effect. Karma stops seeking ure ass out after it gives u ure due deserts.

It only comes back when u screw up again.

Well, thats all… i’m just ranting.

Hey YA! you know wad? a big shout out to all the people out there! yerp… setting up a new blog… a new life if i might add. *not that anyone frigging cares* But yup.

Basically, i just got out of one helluva relationship, sorta, if u know what i mean. It’s just one of those, What the fuck kinda things. Yup. And btw here’s a lil on who i am.

Firstly, I’m Chinese, yup and friggin proud to be one, I hope. whatever

Hmmm, lets see, i’m a college kid now at least, or tertiary or university yup lame names for all the same thing.

And… i’m single, which pretty much explains why i’m blogging. COME on, if you ARE attached and if your a guy, you wouldnt bother, at least most wouldnt bother, hmmm don’t know abt danny though… oops.

But if your are a (attached) girl and literate, you’d probably smear all your god-damn pictures all over the internet. Ohhh… my boyfriend’s sooo cute….

*BTw i ripped this photo off some random google search no offence… s i aint pointing any fingers*

look wad he got me for christmas… oooo its a nice underwear, *captions … “Nice underwear from my darling *hugz* LAME. You probably stole the friggin picture off the fucking internet whilst you were ebay-ing… SHoppawhorlics.

*Note that its usually nothing fancy… just a piece of shit crap that the guy (bf) proabably bought in a rush right before he met her and said “oh honey… you know i went to soo many place to find the PERFECT fit”.. More like he went to 7-11 and asked “excuse me do u sell bras here?” And got a door slammed into his face “Are you fucking stupid we are a convenience store dude, buying bra isnt ssupposed to be convenient.”

So yes… the hard truth is he probably got it from the made shift stores outside bugis those that says “SALE… BRANDED BRA 3 for $25!”

Either that or you’d be putting all your friends photos on line and going, with captions going shit like “Posing…” “Looking away” “Best friends forever”. Give me a break!

Wait wait, before it slips me… another typical Photo type would be of a girl and her usually equally ugly boyfriend cuddling or smooching or fornicating…. ewww, followed with a caption that says “bliss” “or in heaven or something… Hmmm why don’t u just friggin shoot your self and go to heaven instead of being an eyesore!

Okay ENOUGH of the rants. i almost forgot i’m supposed to introduce myself. As you can see i accord women lotsa respect. I mean i don’t call them what one of my buddies do, (MArk you know what you call them).

Yup, bascially i’m a 23 year old nut case and college student, interning at Burson Marsteller, BM for shorts, having a ball of a time there, even though i honestly think i’m quite of a nuisance. But you never know, its the biggest firm around, they might need the biggest nuisance…

Anyhow, i love women, i mean which guy doesnt. I love designing, most of it done it my free time. I enjoy writing… in a way… I’m in communications and i’m a student journalist.

I’m into video games, both making them and playing them. ANime and all sorts of shit

oh yea MUSIC…. I love THRICE… if you don’t know who they are… go shoot yourself.

Yup thats all abt me FOR NOW… seeya soon LAdies (ermmm supposed to mean both the guys and the girls, i am so not a perv)